If we have everything to be happy, what prevents us from living fully?

International Day of Happiness – March 20

What makes us happy? If we focus on our accomplishments to feel accomplished, it is because we are responding to the logic of thinking that happiness comes from without, and is given by events external to us (even when these results are produced by us); But if we start from the ground up Fundamentally we are happy and fulfilled at our coreit will then be a matter of finding what is generally needed abroad.

What is the recipe for happiness?

In our culture we have learned the following equation: Do + Have = Be (happy)Which is equivalent to saying: I do something to get money and this determines my (happy) existence. From this model, we only enjoy the outcome if it is positive, and in the best case, if that milestone is reached, We will lose enjoyment of the process due to the fear of not achieving it.. If we do not reach the proposed goal, frustration pushes us again to feel that we are unhappy… A vicious circle Which we are often trapped in.

happiness. Image: Unsplash.

But if we start from the premise that… Happiness is within us We stop relying on external events for enjoyment. Starting to achieve things to be happy is very different from finding within ourselves the engine that motivates us to move through our daily lives and enjoy every moment. Something like suffering from our job all our lives waiting to retire to do what we love. In this case, happiness would not only be outside us, but would also be far away in time!

Just like the Beatles say in their song all you need is love“,”it is easy. all you need is love. Love is all you need“.

In contrast to this option, there is the equation in which we assume that our object must do and have: Be (happy) = do + have. This way of understanding life offers us possibility Connecting with our being to do and get what we want from there. It sounds simple (it is), but the path to getting simple is usually not easy… The big difference between these two hypotheses is that, If we only look outward, no achievement will make us feel truly satisfied.Because if we were truly happy we wouldn't depend on the outcome (achievement or “failure”) to keep going.

The old saying goes “Money doesn't buy happiness, but it helps.”. Of course money helps as a resource for accessing pleasurable goods and services; It doesn't have to be a “bad word”, quite the opposite. If we understand it as a means and not an end in itself. But we also have other resources (or not) to enjoy life. Moments of enjoying simple things are within our reach and often we don't even realize it, it's just that fear usually gets in the way. It interferes with our peace of mind and confidence in all situations and areas of life. This does not mean that there are not concerns, setbacks and issues to be resolved. In fact there is almost all the time! But that's what it's about Manage it in a way that doesn't take us off-center or confuse us Don't even make us think that our life is a disaster.

It's just a matter of attitude

Until things settle down or are resolved, we can decide whether or not to have a bad time.. Experience tells us that when we look back, we can see some of the difficulties we have experienced in the past as anecdotal, and even think “Why did I have such a bad time if the problem was finally solved?” All the time there are things to hold on to to have a good time or a bad time, to complain or to save, It all depends on the color of the glass with which we look at things… The glass can always be seen as half full or half empty.

happiness. Smiling girl lying on the grass. Image: Unsplash

Life is a journey that we can travel in very different ways., something like traveling along the road and enjoying the journey or worrying all the time when thinking about arriving. Every journey offers us moments of smooth and restless transit; Sometimes the sun shines but gray and stormy days also appear. Just as we carry a lighter or cover ourselves with warmth, different states of mind encourage us to navigate and manage them in the best possible way. Connect with our emotions (sadness, anger, anxiety, joy) while being careful not to settle for too long in any of them It allows us to feel alive and present. Taking the drama out of difficult moments helps us face the setbacks that arise with greater confidence.

Taking a break from ourselves, especially from those thoughts that keep “talking” to us all the time, is a good antidote to discomfort. Repetitive, critical, pessimistic, guilt-inducing, and fear-inducing thoughts are the greatest source of “unhappiness.”. Living with guilt and fear keeps us away from our best version of ourselves, the one that connects us to happiness. Learning how to properly manage emotions can help us be in “happy mode” on a daily basis.

6 tips to remember that we are happy (even if we don't realize it):

1. Make a list of the things that make us good and those that make us bad: Reading, playing, socializing, outdoor activities, sports, performances, versus isolating ourselves, arguing, etc., checking how many things we like to do and how many we avoid or postpone.
2. Be attentive to When “toxic” thoughts appear and the “fumigation” technique is applied, Which consists of blowing forcefully several times imagining that we have gotten rid of this thought. Any breathing exercise can help too, even if it's just closing your eyes and counting about 10 or 15 inhales and exhales. This can help you stay present and not think too much about the future (anxiety) or the past (depression).
3. Enjoy the simple things Don't worry about the accessory.
4. Discerning what is a priority over what is notDon't suffer from creating “problems” for issues that can be solved.
5. Cultivate social connectionsRelationships with friends strengthen your spirit, and it is scientifically proven that sharing moments with close people generates a positive impact.
6. Remember we are aliveLife has an end date and we do not know when it will end. Meditating for a few minutes on this point daily can help us feel present and alive.

Being happy is a decision we can make every day, just as the Beatles say in their song all you need is love, “It's easy. All you need is love. Love is all you need.”