And how do you interrupt yourself? We all have a “button” that, when pressed, either consciously or unconsciously, activates processes such as procrastination, inner criticism, avoidance, and slow self-destruction. What can we do about this?
We’ll start this article with some bad news: All of us practice self-sabotage. We have a hidden ability to interrupt ourselves, frustrate our goals, and disrupt well-being. We will have a hard time finding someone who has never fallen into the annoying practice of procrastination, delaying tasks that should be accomplished.
It will also be difficult to meet someone who has never questioned their worth. The world is full of men and women with imposter syndrome. And what do we say about that internal dialogue that criticizes, treats, and diminishes our achievements? The truth is that man has his own “button” of self-destruction and it is inevitable to press it from time to time.
Now the problem with not having this mechanism that activates the interrupt and harms oneself, the real challenge is not to overuse it. Because the big problem with many self-destructive behaviors is that they are not easy to control. Many times, we press this key over and over thinking that by doing this we will feel comfortable, but in fact it turns us into someone we don’t like at all… What do we do in these cases?
People self-sabotage when we don’t like ourselves.
And you, how do you hurt yourself?
Self-destruction is a powerful chemistry that we unconsciously form. There are those who practice it as an escape mechanism and a required vent. An example is making food a resource by which the weight of uncomfortable feelings can be silenced. For its part, alcohol is also that socially acceptable substance with which one creates anxiety and sadness.
Then there are those uncomfortable and unpleasant behaviors that often dominate us: losing your temper, making decisions without thinking, avoiding responsibilities, etc. The voice of our conscience asks us why we do this, and why we do counterproductive actions that always increase guilt.
Harvard Medical School explained in a study that the reason some people over-press the self-destruct “button” would be in childhood. Attachment problems to our caregivers and early trauma lead humans to these disorganized behaviors.
I don’t feel safe, emotionally validated, and thus dragged certain doses of anger for what we lived through in those early years, Estatis said, a psychological artifact. That self sabotage, i.e. a switch that is deactivated and deactivated from time to time…
People destroy themselves daily with our limited beliefs.
Ways to punish ourselves
Neglected parents, family that discourage their children’s value, dreams and needs, experiences of bullying in school, low self-esteem, being too demanding of themselves… There are many variables that build and activate self-destructive behavior. As we’ve indicated, we’ve all practiced it at some point. Even if it is accurate.
However, far from the origin, we do care about the way we hurt ourselves. There are more subtle and more serious practices, but they all undermine psychological well-being if they are continuous dynamics. These might be some examples:
Restricting beliefs, such as telling ourselves that we will never get anywhere, that we are restless, imperfect, fallible, etc.
Procrastination, i.e. putting off tasks, makes us feel bad and promotes feelings of guilt.
Mismanage our emotions. Let’s not forget that something as common as not caring about uncomfortable feelings or negative valence has serious consequences. Sometimes, this leads us to behaviors such as addiction or eating disorders.
Excessive perfectionism and self-demanding are also two ways of sabotaging ourselves.
Avoidance of any kind.
Our culture is also guilty of the tendency to self-sabotage so common in humans. They make us believe that we are not enough, that we are not perfect enough to be liked or considered.
How to stop hitting the self-destruct ‘button’
The problem with pressing the self-destruct “button” too much is that we end up hating ourselves more. It’s like a vicious circle that we don’t know how to get out of. Annoyance sabotages ourselves and ends up hating someone for behaving this way. This fact would be ironic if it did not lead to a clear deterioration in mental health.
What can we do in these circumstances? We analyze it.
You are ruining yourself because you don’t love yourself
If a person values, respects and values himself, he does not oppose him and does not seek to harm himself. Reflect on what you are doing, think about the consequences and redirect your thoughts so that your behaviors are modified and in your favor. Therefore, the first strategy we must apply to stop touching our self-destruct “button” is to activate self-love.
Self-love is self-esteem, it develops better self-esteem, healthier self-efficacy and a more positive view of one’s being. This skill takes time, but it is the antidote to not destroying ourselves.
Self-awareness, your inner key
Self-awareness allows us to understand how we are, what we need and what is going on inside of us. This competition is directly related to our feelings. Only those who have the ability to discern the origin of what they feel and properly manage what controls them can stop this harmful voice that takes so much power from us.
No to social comparison
We live in a society where it is common to compete with each other. There is nothing so frequent as envying what some have and making value judgments about what we don’t have and what others enjoy. Social comparison destroys self-esteem, makes us feel disadvantaged, and distorts our self-concept. Let’s avoid it, we will live much better.
Yes, to search for your vital meanings
When you self-destruct, you do so because, too often, you lack a vital anchorage. Nothing offers you a clear goal, a solid illusion, a horizon of hope and expectation. We must clarify what gives us meaning and what is right for us.
The moment we imagine this dimension that defines us, that motivates us and reformulates our goals, we will stop doing it. We will eliminate the need to press the self-destruct button.
Source: Mind is awesome. –